A lot of my colleagues, even friends, prioritize going outside of our country for a shot at foreign currency. Nobody can blame them. I can think of a thousand reasons why not to stay in our country. There is so much to blame, so much things you don't wanna look at. But I guess not all people are like most people. Take me, for example. I do complain a lot (well, not out loud as much as before), and I'm a cynic-type of person. I'm more of a realist-kind of guy (my friends will laugh at this, negativist they would say). But not to my country.
I don't know what part of my bringing-up was responsible for this. Stereotypically, I may be typified as one of those who lambasts our country's outlandish methods in ways more than one. That I would love to describe but can't even find a word to describe, how disappointing things are happening to our country. But as I see it, these gives us a lot of room for improvement. And I mean it in a good way, mind you. If you screwed-up all things, there can be no worse than that. There is really no way but up. While at times I cannot control myself from ranting about the traffic, or our politics, or government transactions and the like, I mostly keep it to myself. As I see it, I'm just a lazy bastard who is just so used to the culture of complaining, it doesn't even bother me as much that all I do is, yep!, complain without cutting our country some slack and giving back.
So what was I saying awhile ago? Ah, yeah. Something about treading foreign waters. A good professor from my first year post-graduate studies once told us, "..everybody wants to go abroad. They say they do it for their own family, to sustain and earn for their future. So live for years overseas. But when they come back, they're already foreign to their families. And a lot has happened to the ones he or she'd left, they come back to a barely family. Where is the family in that?" That struck in me a cord. It is true. And it is the reality. I would expound on these further because it's just too saddening. Because it is as real as a rock that can hit you right in the face but neglects to acknowledge it for some shot in giving everyone a better future. Nonetheless, what use is the future when you don't have anyone to start it with?..
Just a thought, of course. There is always the other side to every story. But for me, being the cynic/realist/modernist-cum-patriotic guy that I am, happiness is a matter of perspective. If you keep moving your goals, you won't be able to reach any. It is only in our country that, with the help of friends, you can survice with 500 pesos in your pocket for a week, eating three times a day (and if you're lucky, you might be able to even watch a movie and save a little of what you have to start with). Then again, I'm a single guy and it was when I was still studying. But you get the idea. We are always a second-rate citizen in another country. And while it's almost discouraging to stay here in the Philippines, and there is a possibility that you will be working double the effort in half the salary, Filipinos always endure. And we're quite good at it (plus great deal of laughter, of course).
So I guess, given the choice of big salary abroad and meager salary here at our home, I say you choose overseas! Big plus if you're career-driven single guy like The Greysian. But who cares?! haha
..-~<><0><>~-..
September 13, 2010: Limbo
While it would be rude to rant about not having anything interesting and productive to do for most of the day, it kinda makes me feel weirded out. Coming from a lifestyle that's always on-the-go without being able to see the light of day, going to work earlier than the sunrise and going home way past sunset, there is a sense of wanting - half of my heart not meaning that statement and probably the teeniest, tiniest bit of me really does wanna do something just as before. Hospital work, that is.
Without being ungrateful for my free time (which is much deserved, by the way), I can't commit to this rest-phase. It is true that when you put me back to that misery-of-a-hospital-job that I previously did for 2 straight years I will be ranting a lot about how much work I have in my hands. So it seems like either I'm being fickle about how I feel about my situation or just being the pompous ass that I sometimes am, complaining about everything.
There maybe is an ass-ness there somewhere. But going back to not committing in my rest-phase, I think what bothers me the most is the fact that I am in limbo right now. Waiting for calls. Half feeling decided which path to take, half undecided what to do next. Not having a back-up plan. Going with the flow of whatever there is infront of me. Dismissing the reality that tomorrow is just around the corner and decisions must be made now. There should be an adult here somewhere that can or may help me in my predicament. Aside from myself.
So as much as I want to act like an ass right now, I can't. The reality of this freaking situation right now is I have to face it myself because the uneasiness isn't there just because of a wedgie. The uneasiness is present because of the unclear future ahead. Because of decisions not made now. Because of not committing.
Argh. Why don't we all just find a good American breakfast, read a funny book and sleep.
I hate being an adult. Why didn't they teach this in school?..
